Idiosyncratic Reasoning

It all boils down to some chemical reactions exploding in our heads that create feelings and those...those consistently clash with the logic we supposedly have. And there we have it. Cognitive Dissonance. It's all the human knows. So why not live these days by nomadic designs? Why color within manmade lines? Why live in any feeling or thought that's not your own. Why rent a house when you can build a home?

A Boat, Beneath A Sunny Sky

A boat, beneath a sunny sky
Lingering onward dreamily
In an evening of July -

Children three that nestle near,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Pleased a simple tale to hear -

Long has paled that sunny sky:
Echoes fade and memories die:
Autumn frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.

Children yet, the tale to hear.
Eager eye and willing ear,
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream -
Lingering in the golden gleam -
Life, what is it but a dream?

-Lewis Carroll

Free Written Stream of Consciousness

once again i watch it melt away like snow. this feeling doesn't exist. It dissolves i watch it decompose. Slowly. Quick. Slowly. And that cycle going moving going. Every river flows. No matter what speed. Flowing flowing. Will we ever enjoy what we see? Will we ever recieve what we need? Flowing Flowing. Holding on to branches along the way. No such thing as being still. It's always going by. Hi. Bye. On the ground. In the sky. Rivers flowing, feelings growing, emotions showing, people coming and going without me ever knowing. The on lookers and spectators arent really paying attention. This river will always be this way. Want, need, dissolve, decay, love, fall apart, desire, hope, intention, invention, rising action, falling action, over and over and over and over and over and over and over flowing. How long before i sink beneath? how long does it take to drown? how long before i need to breathe? How long before i come down? Do answers even matter? it's mad. flowing. flowing. No control. The water enfolds. It's mostly cold. At best. no more no less. Things seem to be. That's all. They are what they are. Why does it bother me? Why do i hope for more? Why are my expectations so high? Coal won't change to diamonds in front of my eyes. Cop out "it takes time, it takes time" Really? Perception is the only changeable. Nothing else. Systems in place and won't erase. Rip these pages. Burn these bridges. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Write with ink. Shoot the arrow. hit or miss. are there such things? is there anything? flowing flowing. Whether or not your rowing. flowing flowing. Whether or not your rowing.

This Morning. hmmmm

I took a shower and pretended i was in an insane asylum. For you see, i closed my eyes and opened them only to notice tiled white squares all around me. I'm afraid that my thoughts already match that of an inmate, so the subtle change in environment was the small kick i needed to actually imagine it in full. I suppose that's the same for most other things as well. But, Is a cook a cook outside the kitchen? is a prisoner a prisoner outside of prison? hmm

then again I also opened my blinds this morning. Blinds that overlook starbucks (or does starbucks underlook my blinds?) while i was in my boxers. Was it the overlooker being awkward or was it the underlooker feeling awkward? hmmm

Nice of You to Stop By!

Doubt I see we meet again.
You visit so often you must be a friend.

I have good manners so I let you in.
In the back of my head, I know where you've been.

You say there's things I mustn't need
You know where it hurts, you know where I bleed

You plea your case logically.
Explain it all in depth to me.

You show me lots of evidence
and ask me to use common sense.

But Doubt, I'm afraid I disagree
with "common sense" and "reality."

See, you draw lines I dare not cross,
but my good friend, you're not the boss.

I'm sorry, though, you mustn't be sad.
I'm just not the type to be had.

Now if you don't mind, I've tasks at hand.
Loved the chat, but I have bigger plans.

You're welcome to stay. That goes without mention.
But I can't promise I'll pay you much attention.

I shan't let disbelief run amok.
So I must be off now...wish me luck!

Month Of July Highlight Reel.

-Slept in a mansion
-Bet on horses/lost
-Watched fireworks
-Rode in an airplane
-Broke into my locked car
-Learned Signal Flow (recording)
-Composed songs
-Hit a Kitten
-Sold my car
-Bought an Amp with my car money.
-Drank lots of vanilla coke
-Got my obnoxious roommates in trouble with the cops
-Fixed my Macbook
-Wrote lots of words
-Got a job as a Writing Tutor
-Got a TN drivers license (they put the wrong height)
-Said farewell to somebody who knows me well.
-Had a welcome home party at Chuck E Cheese
-Remained unemployed
-Took the Facebook Patronus quiz and received a bat.
-Ate Hibachi
-Bought vinyl

This makes me wanna throw up so so so so so so so so so much! I'm not even gonna reflect on it. Think inside the box is what GOD wants. He invented intelligence but it's evil to apply it. Somewhat contradictory? Gimme a break! (of that kit kat bar)