Esoteric Contemplation

Isn't it true? every truth has a bite to it.
What makes me feel alive always seems short lived.
Isn't it true?
I'll smile and watch the sunrise. I'll cry and watch it leave.
That pattern is here and keeps its hold on me.

Touch isn't hard enough.
Hearing isn't loud enough.
Seeing isn't aesthetic enough.
Smell isn't as fragrant
Taste isn't as pleasing.

Feeling Intangibles. That's the only sense present.

Walking alone at 4 a.m

The rain doesn't feel wet enough
The music i listen to isn't sad enough
Words i read aren't descriptive enough
My bloody nose isn't appropriate enough
bitterness doesn't taste bitter enough...

She'll ask me "how are you."
I'll say "I'm fine"
I'm fine.
I'm lying.
I'm fine.

I won't escape my head. Thoughts are here to stay. Hope is gonna be the death of me. But i'd rather die believing there is possibility (even at it's ridiculously smallest chance) as opposed to having no hope at all. And what sick allegorical meaning the word hope has right now.

Here it is. I'm talking to myself again. Can i shatter some more please? This crystallized structure i work so hard to create only lasts to an extent. Wouldn't you know it? How much you can vent when in lack of emotion. Words constructed to open up everything i never spoke. The words i love to choke. The words you wanted to know. You held that book of secrets and didn't wanna let go. Don't pretend you weren't intrigued. More than once i caught you trying to read. As chance would have it here it is.

This is how it begun. Raw and bland in it's full obscure extent.
"I really care for once... and that's an understatement."

So meaningless though. At least to one of us. You want that book to shut.

Isn't it true? truth just bit. No matter how hard i try i can't match its wit.

So i'll just dry my clothes,
Take my headphones off,
Close this book,
Wipe the blood from my nose,
Spit out any bitterness.

Nothing overcomes this intangible sense.
It has become far too immense.
and in all this resistance
all this indifference.
I swear to god
I've got no defense.

I'll smile and watch the sunrise. I'll cry and watch it leave.
That pattern is here to stay and keeps its hold on me.