Pen to Page

Classes are coming to a close and so many other things are as well. It feels like this happens over and over again. A blanket of worries disappears quicker than a magic trick when the semester starts diminishing. It's like a long chapter of odd structure, mystery, cynicism, and fear comes to an abrupt ending.

I close my eyes and reopen them.

I see black spots in the air as though i just awoke and the room was slightly spinning. Off balance i stagger a step or two

Blink slowly again and reopen

I find myself looking at green grass under a warm sun whose beams make everything a little less dull and a little more shinny. Enchanting how something unclear and in disarray turns into something bright and shiny in the matter of seconds. That fresh feeling alone is worth living. Slowly walking through the soft blades from which fireflies were emerging i could hear a tune reminiscent, appropriate, and capturing. All the worry, stress, pain, desire, death, awakening in abstract proportions. In the time frame of a song these emotional states replay themselves in their previous forms. And all these previous states, in older moments meant everything, now are laughable memories. A chapter just closed on me again and looking back it always seems humorous and ironic the way such chapter played out.

Blink

A feeling of being born again washes over me as i look around and observe the people surrounding. For once, everyone else seems a little out of place....not me. For once, everyone else seems a little unsure of themselves. For once, everyone else has writers block. It's almost as though i knew a chain of events would lead up to this day, i just always doubted it would happen. A day where everything summarizes itself and the bigger mysterious picture i've worked so hard to create actually became evident. I've gone beyond myself.

I blink again. A tear breaks

Now knowing my full accountability for the chapter that follows, I find myself holding a pen full of ink. Hovering over a piece of paper, I start thinking to myself. In the last chapter, i questioned ever finishing this book, how it would look in the end, and pondered it's meaning (if any)....
How about this chapter i enjoy simply writing the book instead? Yea..... Yea I like that idea.

Eyes Closed. Deep Breath. Exhale and Release. Reopen.

Write.